Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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