Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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