the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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