fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize