Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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