thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize