like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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