I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My feet surprised me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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