Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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