Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize