I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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