I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize