when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize