worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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