Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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