dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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