The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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