Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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