You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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