What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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