oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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