ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I will pee on everything he values.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize