I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize