bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize