Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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