Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We need to hang out more often

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  (419): Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol. (708): We need to hang out more often http://tfl.nu/04n9
  Replies (13) Good night (2620) Bad night (457)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!

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  (405): You can't have hate sex in a hallway!! http://tfl.nu/3bhn
  Replies (22) Good night (3851) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory

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  (678): After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory http://tfl.nu/nm21
  Replies (23) Good night (584) Bad night (5051) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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  (314): He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life. http://tfl.nu/k4q7
  Replies (33) Good night (816) Bad night (5672) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

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  (403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w
  Replies (18) Good night (4844) Bad night (1174)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

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  (201): the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/8wsa
  Replies (24) Good night (1311) Bad night (4180) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7417) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.

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  (407): I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila. http://tfl.nu/7js5
  Replies (9) Good night (2879) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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  (724): He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl? http://tfl.nu/b3zj
  Replies (12) Good night (728) Bad night (1856) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.

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  (702): I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it. http://tfl.nu/kp90
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (4010) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.

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  (334): A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown. http://tfl.nu/tag1
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (1491) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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  (517): Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember. http://tfl.nu/2slr
  Replies (13) Good night (2458) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.

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  (401): I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things. http://tfl.nu/cr6r
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.

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  (847): I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday. http://tfl.nu/imb1
  Replies (9) Good night (335) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt

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