Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize