also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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