quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize