Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize