That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize