were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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