he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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