I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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