Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize