He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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