That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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