i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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