can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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