Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just threw up on my dentist
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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