I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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