why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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