Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
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