His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize