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Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
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