The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dick very happy bro
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize