once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
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just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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