she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize