now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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