He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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